GET WELL

I’ve spent most of my life trying to be the best version of myself. 

Desperate to find the best path to take.

The best career, the best partner, the best city.

But the more I try to “figure it out,” the more lost I feel.

I’ve always felt like something just isn’t quite right, or enough, with myself and everything in my life, and I often find myself overwhelmed by my unrealistic standards of what my life should look like.

I’ve chased wellness, discipline, and fallen down all the self-improvement rabbit holes, only to end up in the oh-so-familiar, all-or-nothing trap.

I’ve been on the opposite side of the spectrum as well- chasing thrills, adventure, and trying every flavor of fleeting euphoria, only to end up feeling even more numb.

I’ve never felt like I’m doing enough; like I am enough.

And now, I’m just trying to find some kind of balance. 

To be healthy without obsession, to grow and become a better version of myself without constantly feeling like I need to be doing more.

I’ve struggled with just about everything…

Bipolar depression, religious trauma, PTSD, substance abuse, chronic illness, ADHD, eating disorders, attachment disorders, anxiety disorders, lots of “disorders“…

The list, surprisingly, goes on.

I have issues. 😅

And I’ve spent years trying to “heal” myself, but

every time I make progress in one area, I find something else that needs work, and

It’s exhausting always feeling defeated.

They say healing isn’t linear,

and yeah my life pretty much embodies that.

So, I quit.

I’m done feeling ashamed of myself and my life.

I’m done striving for perfection and needing to be seen as smart and strong and healthy and capable and all the things I’ve always desperately wanted to be viewed as to feed my fragile sense of self-worth.

Because, honestly, I am all of those aforementioned things,

but I’m also pretty fucked up.

So, this is me- all of me.

I’m Grace—a writer, traveler, and highly-sensitive overthinker who spends too much time wondering what the hell I’m doing on this floating rock.

And yes, I’m fully aware I take life too seriously.

I’m painfully aware of myself, in fact, and that awareness doesn’t seem to help with much…

if anything, it makes everything

so. much. harder.

Ignore is bliss, my friends.

Everyone on the internet seems to have it all figured out,

and I’m calling bullshit.

I grew up feeling so isolated in my struggle.

Always feeling displaced. So painfully alone.

I thought I was broken beyond repair, with little to no hope of ever fixing myself.

And the internet did not help with those feelings.

So, I decided to be the person younger me needed to see.

And when I did, something happened that I didn’t expect.

The internet actually came through…

I posted a video on YouTube that got some attention, and I got thousands of comments and messages from people saying they felt just like I did.

I was helping people feel less alone, and they were helping me just as much.

I realized, sooooo many people feel just like me.

I know, crazy, right?

7 billion people and I’m not the only one.

But seriously, that’s what the internet makes you feel like!

Like everyone is just existing in this little matrix and floating along and then there’s me, or you, isolated in our heavy ass human experience.

But you’re not alone, and neither am I.

Stick with me here—this language might be a bit much, but it’s necessary to make my point. 

(or maybe it’s not, but I curse a lot.. sorry 🫶🏼)

My mission is to normalize feeling a bit fucked, in hopes that we can all eventually stop feeling so fucked, 

cause it’s normal, ya know?

The world we live in is a crazy place.

And I’d argue that if you’re not a little fucked by it, then maybe you’re the abnormal one.. 

I don’t care if it’s cringe, or considered too much, because honestly, that’s me.

A lot of my life and personality could be summed up as being cringe and too much..

It is what it is, man. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Here, you’ll find reflections on everything from body image and fitness routines to philosophical conundrums and the pursuit of happiness.

I write to untangle the contradictions many of us wrestle with and rarely talk about.

I share in an attempt to make sense of the mess, 

or at least to learn how to sit with it without losing my mind on a bi-weekly basis…

This space isn’t about self-improvement in the way the internet usually sells it.

It’s about going much, much, probably too much, deeper.

Questioning what I believe, redefining success, and ultimately, trying (and often failing) to find a little more peace in this life.

I want to create a community for anyone who’s ever felt alone in this complicated human experience.

Welcome to my little corner of the internet.

I’m glad you’re here. ❤️