The other day I was listening to a podcast interview with Joe Dispenza, and he said,
To change our lives, we must fundamentally
Change the ways we think, act, and feel.
Because how we think, feel, and behave is – in essence – our personality.
And our personality creates our personal reality.
So, to create a new personal reality – a new life –
We must create a new personality.
And it made me realize something that immediately lifted this huge weight off my shoulders.
I don’t necessarily think my interpretation fully aligned with his original point, but what I took away from it was incredibly helpful.
To give a little backstory, I am a polymath, or a multipotentialite.
Basically meaning I’m the kind of person who has lots of different interests and hobbies and often struggles to choose just one path to focus on.
So, when I hear people talk about manifestation, I usually get really overwhelmed, and it almost always triggers the urge to shut off.
Why?
Because I don’t know what the fuck I want to manifest.
How can one visualize a “dream reality” if one don’t know what one’s dream is?
Every time I hear people talk about a 5-year plan or manifesting and visualizing the future, I almost always get so overwhelmed because I feel like at the very least, I should know what I want, right?
The problem should be getting what you want, not knowing it, right?
How can I not know what my ideal day would look like?
Or my dream job or career? Or car? Or home? Or when I want to “settle down”?
Why can’t I just be one of those people that have a clear vision or dream?
And then I usually proceed to crave a bit of self-pity and want to pour myself a drink or light a joint or take a nap or watch tv- whatever form of escapism I’m feeling in that moment.
I usually go, what Joe Dispenza calls, “unconscious.”
I stop consciously controlling my life and slip into this kind of subconscious programming- a type of autopilot.
Because not knowing what I’m meant to be doing is a hard truth for me to face.
And continually questioning why I’m here and where I’m going over and over again is an exhausting cycle.
If you know, you know.
During one of my recent unconscious bouts, I got on YouTube and decided to watch a video he made about reprogramming your subconscious mind…
And something just clicked.
I had a kind of eureka moment.
Instead of fixating on what I want in life and trying to change my ‘personal reality,’ as Joe Dispenza calls it, I can shift my focus to changing my personality—
my internal programming.
Now, I know, the thought of changing your personality sounds like, what? Why would I do that?
But hear me out.
I just mean that rather than trying so hard to envision my perfect future- with the perfect house and car and partner and lifestyle, like most visualization techniques encourage us to do,
I can just work on becoming a version of myself that I want to be.
Instead of stressing over big, intimidating questions about my future like,
“Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”
I can instead focus on the present, and ask myself whether or not a specific action that I’m taking, or thing that I’m doing, or thought that I’m having, aligns with the person that I want to be.
It’s as simple as consistently asking myself the question:
Would the woman I want to be, do this?
And if the answer is yes, she would, then I try my best to do it, and if it’s no, she wouldn’t, then I try my best not to.
I don’t need to be perfect, but by consistently making choices in alignment with my ideal self, I naturally shape my future—without wasting the present obsessing over figuring out what that future should look like and trying to force things to work.
As Deepak Chopra wisely puts it,
In the process of letting go, you create the space for the universe to deliver what you need.
You align your energy with the frequency of what you want.
As soon as I heard this I immediately fell in love with the concept.
Because it’s so easy for me to answer the question: “would the woman I want to be do this, or not?”
Acting accordingly? That’s the hard part. But knowing the answer? That’s always been clear.
I know the kind of person I want to be, and even more than that, I know the type of person I don’t want to be.
It’s easy to listen to your gut and recognize whether a habit is helping or hindering you from becoming the version of yourself that you’re trying to be.
The challenge arises when we become adept at ignoring that intuition, living in that freeze response/autopilot mode.
Doing what we’ve always done without objectively analyzing our actions or consciously choosing to make different choices, even if we know the healthier or more productive way to go about something.
I often feel like I know what I need to do, so- why don’t I do it?
I think it’s because I get so overwhelmed by the uncertainty of the future and answering the question of why I’m making these difficult changes.
They say if you don’t have a clear why, you won’t stay consistent.
The issue isn’t a lack of knowledge, it’s consistently reminding myself of it and consciously making choices that apply that knowledge.
And that’s a lot harder to do when you don’t know why you’re doing something or making these difficult changes.
It’s much easier to just let myself slip back into that subconscious autopilot mode over and over again, as I have for most of my life.
Dissociating for days, weeks, or even months at a time without even realizing it.
I get so lost in thinking about my lack of a plan or vision for my life and it drains the energy out of me- leaving me with little to no intrinsic motivation to get anything done.
I get stuck in that depressed spiral.
No planning, no reflecting, no productive journaling or consistent reminders of the person I want to be.
I just unconsciously slip into this state of existence where I comfortably repeat what I’ve always known.
But now, I know what I need to do, and why, and instead of freaking out about the future, I am trying my best to just focus on reprogramming my subconscious settings.
Tactfully and intentionally steering my life in the direction I want to go.
Reconfiguring my “personality” to become the kind of woman I want to be.
And my hypothesis is that once I build the right habits and become a healthier version of myself, the mental fog will clear.
And maybe then, instead of chasing my purpose, I’ll simply be able to see it.
Carl Jung said,
Synchronicity is an ever-present reality for those who have the eyes to see.
So, my focus right now is no longer on finding my purpose—but on becoming the kind of person who can recognize it when it appears.
I’m no longer chasing after specific things or experiences or circumstances, or trying to conjure up some 5 year plan,
I’m simply trying to match the energy for what I want to see in my life, and attracting the life that’s meant for me.
If I continue to ask myself, would the woman I want to be, a woman I respect, do this?
And then trust my gut answer and act accordingly- making conscious efforts to embody the version of myself that I want to be, then I believe my life will follow suit.
It’s synchronicity.
Like Joe Dispenza said,
When you change your energy, you change your life.
You attract what you are, not what you want.
I truly believe that the more I align with the woman I’m meant to be, the more my world will begin to shift.
And when I’m truly ready for the life that’s meant for me, my experiences will reflect that energy, and life will unfold exactly as it should.
Thank you for being here,
— Grace
